Colic problems? Or just crying? How to calm your baby with a SIMPLE method.

When I was Christmas shopping back in December, 2008 I bought my wife a book whose cover promised to help stop a baby's crying.

It was called The Happiest Baby on the Block.

She got the book for Christmas, but I was actually the first to read it. You see, our baby girl was due in March, and the last thing I wanted was to endure the long bouts of crying that I remembered following the birth of my sister over thirty years ago. (This same sister grew up to get a Ph.D. I still like to remind her that I used to change her diapers. Hi, Julie!)

Anyway, I started reading the book before March and learned that it was easily possible to stop a baby's crying. Lots of people like to recommend you just put the baby down in a crib and let her "cry it out." Sure, that works, like after three straight hours of crying, the baby finally passes out from sheer exhaustion. Meanwhile, you, the parent, have totally lost your mind and are drooling in the corner.

It's "colic," they all say.

Maybe, maybe not. According to pediatrician Dr. Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, in some other cultures babies never get colic. But they sure do in America. Why is that?

After many years of research, Dr. Karp formulated a five-point method of relaxing a baby and turning on its "calming reflex." All babies are born with a few basic reflexes, and the calming reflex is one that few parents truly understand.

Dr. Karp makes the whole thing simple with his "Cuddle Cure." I'm not going to reiterate the entire method or go into why the process works. Here's one article, among dozens online, that goes into the Cuddle Cure. I'll just cover the highlights regarding my own experience.

The five "S's" of the Cuddle Cure are:

1. Swaddle

2. Turn baby on her Side

3. Shushing

4. Swinging

5. Sucking

As I said above, the book goes into tremendous--and easy to read--detail about how to do the above with your baby. Here are the highlights:

1. Swaddle: wrap her tightly in a swaddling blanket, or a "Swaddler" available at all baby stores. Note: the Swaddler makes the Cuddle Cure much easier.

2. Hold her on her side facing away from you.


3. Shushing: Going "shhh" into her ear or playing a white noise device.


4. Swinging: Rock her back and forth, rigidly, the more she's screaming, the faster you rock her. OR, jiggle her body, especially her head, as if she were a bowl of Jell-O. Jiggling GENTLY.


5. Sucking. Once she's calmed down enough, stick a pacifier in her mouth and hold it there--all while shushing and swinging.


Within five minutes, she will be calm relaxed, and falling asleep.

I guarantee it.

This method works.

I started using the Cuddle Cure within five days of her birth, and the first time I used it, it was almost frightening about how quickly she calmed down. Any time baby Alayna started crying for no apparent reason, that is, she was fed, had a clean diaper, not cold or uncomfortable, just crying, I would calm her using this method.

And it worked every single time.

Depending on the time of day or circumstance, she would generally fall asleep in three minutes, which was my average. More extreme cases took longer, that is, five to eight minutes. Other times, she would be relaxed enough to lie there and suck her pacifier with her eyes closed, but she wasn't sleeping, just totally relaxed.

And Mommy and Daddy were happy.

During the hectic first three months, the Cuddle Cure was a lifesaver. It kept my sanity intact and Alayna never got colic. She couldn't--I would never let her cry long enough for her to indicate that she had colic.

Granted, there were often uncontrollable problems that would hamper my using the Cuddle Cure. Most of all, gas. When a baby has gas pains, all the parent can do is offer her gas drops, rub her tummy, lift her legs, and hope it doesn't last. I would use the Cuddle Cure during these episodes, and she would be all relaxed until she suddenly buckled her legs and started yelling. In these cases, I would keep calming her until she relaxed again. Thankfully, the gas pains passed after two to three months.

I became the Jedi Master of the Cuddle Cure. When we were visiting family or friends, other people would see me do it and remark, "That's amazing! You should give seminars on how to do that!" I would explain that it was not my method, but it came from The Happiest Baby on the Block.

After three months, though, the baby transitions out of the stage where the Cuddle Cure works the best. Baby Alayna is four months old and weighs 13 pounds and is too big to be swaddled. In fact, in her last days of swaddling she would routinely fight her way out of the swaddler like Harry Houdini escaping from a straight jacket. Now she sleeps without the swaddler and seems just fine.

I still use the Cuddle Cure, but in a slightly modified way. When she's crying and upset, I will still do at least four of the five S's (no swaddle) and it still works. I think by now she's used to being calmed this way. So, when I turn her on her side, swing her, shush her, and put the pacifier in her mouth, she almost instinctively starts calming down because she knows what I'm trying to do.















The Cuddle Cure at work. "Thanks, Dr. Karp!"



I taught my wife to calm the baby this way, and she started using it and it works every time for her, too.

Next to the b
ook What to Expect the First Year, I can't recommend enough The Happiest Baby on the Block for any new parent, especially the Stay at Home Dad. What better way to keep from losing your mind than to be able to keep your baby from crying?

Teething

Teething is like a time bomb that has waited to go off inside your baby's mouth.

In our case, our baby started teething at four months.

It starts innocently enough. She started drooling and chewing on her fist all the time. Then she started yelling for no apparent reason and exhibiting signs of pain. She was extra crabby and sometimes wouldn't want to go to sleep.

That's when we knew it:

She was teething.

It's a horror story all parents like to tell, and every part of it is true. If your baby hasn't started teething yet, I'll give you the low down and get you ready for it.

Teething hurts, and you're there to help. Some pediatricians and books advise using Orajel on the gums, so we've tried that a few times. It seems to work. However, be warned: if you use too much, when she swallows it, it numbs her throat. Then she can't tell when she swallows, and her lungs fill with saliva. This happened to my daughter nearly a month ago. I used a dab of Orajel, and in a minute she started wheezing as if she were completely congested. I freaked out and came within seconds of calling the doctor. But I held her upright in my lap, and by waiting nervously, she was able to cough it all out.

So, be judicial if you decide to use it.

You can also use Infant Tylenol, if the pediatrician says it's okay. We've had to use it a few times and it seems to help ease her pain.

Teething rings are the temporary, non-drug solution. It seems to me, though, that our baby loses interest in the teething ring very quickly. She'll chew on it a little and fuss. She does like to bite down on other things, though, including her fingers, plastic car keys, and sometimes her clothing.

When all else fails, I can calm her down using the Cuddle Cure, which I'll discuss in the next post.

Her teeth are definitely showing. You can see and feel two hard little nubs poking through her lower gums, right in the front. Since teething is a painful experience, you, as a Responsible Stay at Home Dad, must do what you can to calm her down. Put other things aside for right now, take her in your arms and give her what she needs to calm down, whether it's Tylenol, a teething ring, or just parental love and attention.

Teething doesn't last forever, and it doesn't happen all day long. She has her bouts on some days; other days she's just fine. I'll keep periodic updates on this blog to follow her as her teeth come in.

How to Keep Your Sanity with an infant in the house

Remember the days before the baby came? Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?

Unwittingly, since then you've become a househusband.

1950s television presented the world with the traditional housewife, keeping house while the husband worked. Now, that's you. Your wife brings home the bacon while you keep the house. Seems kind of demoralizing at times. We men were raised with the ideals that the Man Works to Support His Family and the woman is the wife and mother of her children.

Not any longer.

It is up to us to raise our kids while our wives work, at least as long as we can afford to do so. My unemployment won't last forever, and God willing someday I'll find a new job. When the time comes, I must find some sort of child care for the baby. I won't like it, baby won't like it, but it's the reality.

Until then, though, I'm the primary caregiver to a fussy little baby that can only communicate through noise.

Which brings me to my original point. How do we men keep our sanity while caring for our little baby?

The main thing I keep in mind is not to forget who I am and what I like to do. I have hobbies that I've enjoyed doing for the past twelve or so years. Yes, the baby requires feeding diapering, interaction, and love. And I give her all those things, and--this will sound crazy--I enjoy doing those things. Well, the diaper changes get monotonous. If I could toilet-train her now, I certainly would, but she can't even sit up yet.

Thankfully, the baby takes naps twice a day. During these periods I am free to do my own thing. However, as househusband I must perform the traditional house chores: laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc. But I have hobbies: writing and working on my old car are at the top of my list. Currently I'm between books and have taken a break from writing at this time, which is why I started this blog.

The point I'm trying to make is that though you are a new father taking care of a baby, you can't lose sight of who you are. Keep doing what you enjoy when you can: you absolutely have to take a break from the endless child care sometimes. Caring for an infant is a 24 hour a day responsibility, but when your wife comes home, she's going to want to spend time with the baby herself, and that's one of the times you can relax with a beer and be by yourself for a little while. Sure, you will do the family thing, but try to relax once in a while and be yourself, whether it's during one of baby's naps or when she's happily swinging in her infant swing.

Keep up with your hobbies. Or read. Or write. Or fix things. Play your guitar or piano. It's easy to let all these things slide while caring for your infant, but in order to keep your sanity, you must remember to be yourself, too.

One of my next posts will focus on how to calm your fussy, noisy baby.

The Stay at Home Dad

Welcome to the new blog, The Stay at Home Dad. If you're reading this, you might be among the legions of fathers who, for one reason or another, raise their kids while their wives work.

I started this blog for two main reasons:

a. I lost my job.

b. I raise my baby daughter while my wife works.

We had been married eleven years when we finally decided it was time to have a baby. We were both working good, full time jobs, had bills paid, owned our house, and had even saved money. I had a good job, I had been there for two and half years. It had good pay and good potential for longevity. So, she got pregnant and soon after, the economy went nuts and I lost my job.

Our baby daughter was born March 4, 2009. After my wife's maternity leave ended, she went back to work and I became a Stay at Home Dad.

It's a true reversal of roles so different than when I was growing up. When I was a kid, my father worked full time while my mother raised us. Ideally it might be that way today. But for various reasons, the fathers are either quitting or losing their jobs and stay home to raise the kids. Our numbers are growing.

I am one of those dads.

Our baby is four months and I am continuing to learn from my experiences of raising her. The purpose of this blog is to share my experiences with other new dads, and invite others to share what they've learned as well. That way, we can all learn from each other and make it somewhat easier to raise our babies through their first years.

I know that I am not an expert, but I have learned a few things that might save other fathers from getting headaches as they struggle to understand what their little noise machines want during their first few months of life. Other similar blogs might feature fathers with multiple children and how they deal with them. This blog focuses on the new baby, at least until our second one comes along. (And by that time, I had better either have my novel published or be working full time.)

Please check back often as I continue to add entries.

And if you're wondering about the blog's address, it refers to my efforts of trying to get my baby daugher to say "daddy." So far, all I hear from her are small shrieks. But I still try.

Upcoming topics:

Why Static is your friend.

The Happiest Baby on the Block. Buy it. Use it.

The Schedule. How it works, why it's important.

How to keep your sanity in between feedings and diaper changes.

How to potentially get more sex from your spouse.

Who has the cheapest (but good quality) diapers? I've got the lowdown on at least two brands.