What do you REALLY need when you have a baby?

It was November since I last posted. Real life kind of got in the way, plus I've been working on revising my novel for the trillionth time. Meanwhile our little Baby Snooks has aged to 10 months. She crawls everywhere now, stands up on her own, and is about ready to walk. She says mama and dada all the time and is just the cutest thing you ever saw.

I've been reflecting lately on what you need when you have a baby, things they don't tell you about in the birthing class.

The problem is this: spending money on things the baby is only going to use for a few months, then quickly outgrow. That's why I advocate buying used. Yard sales will become your best friends as your baby grows. Use them and love them. Also, most, if not all the things you can also buy used on Craigslist. Remember: there is nothing wrong with used, although some new mothers might try to convince you otherwise.

So, here's a list of stuff YOU NEED.

Changing table. Yeah, yeah, I've heard in the past that you don't really need one. Sure, you can spend the first fifteen or eighteen months bent over on the floor changing the baby's diaper. And your back will thank you for it. A changing table allows you to stand and change your baby's diaper. It makes it easier and faster than kneeling on the floor or side of the bed. They cost a lot new, but you can find good ones used on Craigslist or at a consignment store. Buy a sturdy one.


A good diaper pail. Sure, you can just toss the used diaper in the trash, but wow, do they get ripe after a while. We use a Diaper Genie, and it works just fine, but they have a better one that allows you to toss the diaper in, and it grabs it and does the rest, whatever that is. A minus to the Diaper Genie is that you have to use their bags. My opinion is that there shoud be a Diaper Genie that recycles used plastic grocery bags.


A "busy box" for the crib. These are nice because it gives the baby a chance to busy herself after she wakes up (or while she is preparing to go to sleep) without screaming her head off for some attention.


Music for the nursery. Babies seem to sleep better when there's soothing music playing. You can invest in a cheap CD player or a little music box that attaches inside the crib. Your call; they'll both do the same thing.


A swing, rocker, bouncy seat, or other holding device. Why are these great? When the baby is very young, this is a nice, safe place to keep her while you're busy. You can't hold her all the time. And sometimes she doesn't want to be held. And you have stuff you've got to do. Let her enjoy a swing for a little while. She might even fall asleep in it. Hooray! But be forewarned: a little time is generally enough. She won't appreciate being stuck in it for an hour.


Food Grinder. You don't need an expensive electric one. A simple $6 hand grinder will work just fine for the single-feeding meals. Once your baby is eating solid foods starting at 6-9 months, you can start grinding small portions of your family dinner into something your baby will enjoy. Hey, that's one less jar of baby food you'll have to buy. We ground up Thanksgiving dinner for our baby, and she ate every bite. She also liked the spaghetti I fed her. The food possibilities you can give her are endless, but it might be best to stay away from the spicy stuff. She only needs bland right now.


Things that go without saying: baby monitor. YES! baby gate. YES! Port-a-crib. YES! Good stroller. YES! Baby Bjorn or some other carrying device: YES! TOYS. YES! Earplugs: SOMETIMES!


What about things you don't need?

Wipe warmer. I was on the fence about this when it was suggested we get one. I mean, it's a luxury, and the baby doesn't care one way or another. But we found one for $7 on Craigslist, and I have to admit, it's a nice thing to have, especially since the nursery sometimes cools down between furnace cycles.


Expensive clothes and shoes. I ask, why? What's the point of $30 baby shoes? Grudgingly, it's okay if it's a gift. But when you buy them for your own baby? If she is 9 months old, and you buy her a pricey 12 month outfit, she can only wear those dollar bills for maybe four months. Then it's off to the yard sale box. Again, why?


Baby Einstein DVDs. It's been proven that they don't do anything. They won't transform your baby into a musical prodigy any more than Barney will. The only thing they do do is distract your baby for a half-hour or so. And that distraction can be really nice. But then, practically anything on the Disney Channel will accomplish the same thing for free.


Sterilizer. We have one that goes in the microwave, and in the last ten months, it hasn't left its box. It has been said that the baby's bottles and things don't need to be sterilized. Simply washing them with soap and water is perfectly fine. Our baby's still alive and disease free, so I think we're doing something right.


Your baby can read! and other early learning tools. You can do this if you want, but before she turns one, why bother? I think the What to Expect the First Year book summed it up best: for the first year, let your baby be a baby. She can learn to read later. And I agree, and I'm the one who might adocate this sort of thing, being a reader and a writer. And I don't advocate it, not before turning one, anyway. See, when she's this young, she isn't aware of how things work in the world. She has no clue that anything beyond her own touch even exists. That's why we have to change her diaper so often. She has no idea what she's even putting in there, or that it's even happening. Until she starts understanding more of the world, just let her be a baby. She's only that way once.